Fathers, you can’t live with them, you can’t stop them from travelling around the country

For those of you that don’t know, my dad has bought a caravan, and an incredibly expensive four-wheel drive and decided that his late thirties was the time to say goodbye to his children, his old life, his job, and that he should travel around Australia, like a 22 year old, with a 22 year old. And yes, it took me a while to decide whether I was going to admit that to people. I really wish I could say that it sounds worse than it truly is.

Anyway, my sister was trying to figure out when we were going to see him again before he embarked on his journey, and for some reason, he thought that it was acceptable to say that his girlfriends mother [who we don’t know, by the way] would pick us up, and take us to where he was staying. Which could be in Antarctica for all I know. My sister, who wanted to see him, was willing to do this, but I sure as hell wasn’t, and my mum wasn’t about to let us.

After arguing about it for about 2 hours, it was decided that that particular plan would not go ahead. But even now my sister didn’t seem to understand what our problem was with the plan dad had hatched. I wanted to get some opinions on this, do you think that this is unreasonable? Or do you think that it is unreasonable that my mum said no?

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Fathers, you can’t live with them, you can’t stop them from travelling around the country

  1. I reckon that your Mum should have let you and Sarah choose yourselves, but I reckon you made the right choice. But if you change your mind, that would be the right choice. Are you following me?

  2. Jan

    First of all I would like to start by saying I love reading your blog. It’s witty, insightful and thought provoking.
    You have posed an interesting question, should you have been able to go, or not. I think it’s a little more complicated than that. There are other points to consider, ie did you want to go? what’s the quality of the relationship with your father like, does he have any awareness and insight on the impact his decisions are having on people around him, would he actually be there to pick you up at the designated drop off? Would this have been a positive experience for you? There are so many factors that need to be taken into account – and at the end of the day we need to do what we feel is right. It doesn’t matter what other people think in situations like these, you can only do what feels right for you.

  3. Well, I wouldn’t be letting my children get into a car with a person neither they nor I had ever met before, and about whom I knew nothing.

    There’s another issue threading through this, and that is the age at which children are competent to make decisions for themselves. It varies, with the child, and with the nature of the decision. For example, a six year old child is probably competent to make decisions about whether she should play with her blocks, or read a book. But is she competent to make decisions about how to allocate the family budget?

  4. I am with Deborah on this, I personally wouldnt be letting my children travel with someone I have never met and its about at what age you get to make decisions about things that will impact on your life. From what I have read so far it sounds like you are a pretty on to it person and that your thoughts should be taken into account in this process. D

  5. One of the things that really annoyed me about his plan to get his girlfriend’s mother to pick us up is that it is his job, not hers.We are his kids! I agree that different children at different ages should be able to make some choices about what happens in their lives, but I think this decision is one to be made by an adult. I know my sister would do almost anything to see dad, even if it put her at risk. We know nothing about this woman, how she drives, whether her car is safe, and I can assure you, she would be one of the last people I would what to die in a car crash with. I’m glad that mum and I see eye-to-eye on these sorts of issues, it makes it easier to make the right choice.

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